Choose your Pants

#keepingitrealwednesday 2015

So one of my goals for last year was to be more transparent. 

To be more honest. To be more real. 

I did this because I think it's easy to look at other women
 and think they have it all together.

To think that they have a beautifully decorated house, 

perfect children, clean closets, a full bank account,

the best job ever and a dreamy marriage-

and that in comparison we are a big hot mess

and don't measure up.

I think with the increase in social media it's easier

 than ever to feel like we are a big failure in a world full of perfect ladies.
Like we are the ONLY one who doesn't have all of her ducks in a row. 

We compare our reality to others posed, cropped, filtered, and edited pictures

we see on Facebook and Instagram and become discouraged. 

But here's the thing sweet friends....NO ONE has it all together.
NO ONE. 

I NEVER want anyone to think I have it all together because

 I DEFINITELY do NOT.
If you think I do, you are sadly mistaken.

I am a big, giant, saved by grace MESS.

In order to be more transparent and to help us all remember that we are not alone,
 I started #keepingitrealwednesday

Each Wednesday on Facebook I post several things 

about myself {usually super embarrassing} 

to let others know that I am indeed FAR from having it all together. 

Now to be totally honest, the first time I posted I was immediately sick to my stomach thinking....

"Why in the world did I just share all THAT on Facebook?"

But the response I got was overwhelming

and so positive!

So many friends said things like...

ME TOO! 

and

Thank you for making us see that we're all a little messy 

or lazy and not perfect at everything we do. 

and 

Here's my confession......

Here are a few of my favorites from last year: 

All year long I looked forward to Wednesday because 

I knew that as soon as I posted my own confessions, 

others would post theirs and I just LOVE reading them! 

So if you'd like to join me, just comment below 

or come over to Facebook and join me for #keepingitrealwednesday! 

After some prompting I decided that I would continue this year

and that I'd post them here for the world to read.  

So here's the one from today! 

So, if you are like me are a mess too, will you join me? 

And remember....

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

~Psalm 139: 13-14

Dude.

I say "Dude" an awful lot. 

{Probably way too much in all honesty}.

"Dude. No way."

"Dude. Seriously?"

"Dude. What the heck?"

So when Madison and I were shopping for tshirts at Baylor and found one that said 

Dude on the front and Baylor on the back she insisted I buy it. 

So I did. 

And the first time I wore it I spent 15 minutes in the 

bathroom taking selfies while making different faces

{Poor Tony just kept shaking his head}. 

That way, instead of sending a text that said "dude", 

I can send a picture of my with my dude shirt on. 

It was one of the most ridiculous things ever but I have had more

 fun commenting on Facebook with a dude pic or sending a dude pic text.  

It's the little things people.

Okay. Now you tell me something ridiculous you've done lately.

Autocorrect Mom FAIL

I was at dinner last night with some friends and Madison started texting me 

asking when I would be home and if I would bring her something to eat. 

I was distracted and talking and trying to text at the same time 

{which was obviously not a good idea}.

Here's part of our conversation: 

Autocorrect Mom FAIL!

You Can't Take it With You

My uncle passed away this week after a valiant battle with leukemia. He was an amazing & godly husband to his wife Linda (my aunt passed away 9 years ago- he was an amazing husband to her as well) and father to 3 great sons.  My Daddy and I traveled to Little Rock for the funeral. We were gone for a total of 27 hours- 17 of which were spent in the car. It was great to see so much of my mom's family but it made me sad to realize how long it's been since I saw most of them- and how much I miss my Mommy. 


I have three cousins and they all spoke at my uncle's funeral.  They did an amazing job of sharing great things about their dad- specifically his strong faith in God and his belief in Jesus Christ. We all left the funeral feeling like we truly celebrated my uncle's life!


My middle cousin Greg shared a story that was absolutely hysterical and had us all laughing through our tears!


He first shared that when he married his wife years ago he was changing out of his tuxedo at the end of the reception he realized that although he had a jacket and slacks, he had no shirt. So his sweet Daddy literally gave him "the shirt off of his back"- which wasn't surprising at all given his nature.


Greg then shared that this past Wednesday night while staying at his Dad and step-mother's house he opened the closet door of the room he was staying in to get out his outfit for the viewing the following day.  When he opened the closet door he found that his suit was not there. As he stared into the closet he had a sinking feeling.  He quickly turned to his older brother and said...."Which closet did Linda get dad's suit out of?" To which his brother replied "This one!"


Greg grabbed the phone and immediately called the funeral home. Since it was 1:30am he reached their answering service and left a message.  He eventually received a return call from someone at the funeral home who told him "I am so sorry but YOUR suit.....is on your dad. And you know....we alter those suits." 


And so although they say "You can't take it with you!" - my uncle definitely did! He was buried wearing his son's suit! 


(One of my favorite parts of this story is that Linda (my uncle's wife) did not know this had happened until my cousin told the story at the funeral! He told her "I know you wanted my dad to be buried in the suit you were married in, but he wasn't". So funny!)

How to Get Women to Exercise

Overheard in my classroom today: 

Cute little 1st grade girl with a bit of a speech problem said 

"I'm six years old". 

Little boy sitting next to her misheard her and said 

"You are sexy and old?"

Well....he's got the hang of emailing....sorta.

So yesterday my husband got an email from my sweet, 

new-to-email Daddy.  

{of course he called to tell me he had emailed Tony}

Here's the email he sent. 

Notice anything? 

No message. 

Well....there was a message. 

It was just in the subject line. 

Nothing in the body of the email. 

Nothing. 

Anyone want to volunteer to tell him you write in the body, not in the subject line? :) 

I {heart} my Daddy

The good news is that my sweet Daddy has 

NOT thrown his new laptop computer across the room 

or mailed it to me. 

Each time he emails one of us however, 

he calls to tell me. 

I don't have the heart to tell him that calling 

kind of defeats the purpose of emailing. 

I {heart} that man! 

NO.........

I saw this sign posted on the wall of a sweet friend's

 house at book club the other night-

 right outside of her kitchen. 

Her sweet 6 year old son wrote it 

and taped it to the wall after a particularly vigorous round

 of dancing she did while cooking one night. 

Can you tell what it says? 

So stinkin' cute!

Step AWAY from the Computer Daddy

My sweet Daddy is one of the most amazing men I've ever met.  

He seriously can make or do anything. 

When I was little, I honestly believed he could fix ANY and EVERY problem. 

Technology, however, is not his friend. 

Several years ago he bought a laptop and

 although we showed him how to use it many times 

and had lots of phone calls about how to use it, 

one day it arrived in the mail with this note: 

which totally cracked me UP! 

Well several years have gone by since then

 and last week my sweet Daddy purchased another laptop. 

When I called him tonight and asked how he was, his answer was
"Aggravated." 

When I asked why, he said that he couldn't log in to his email.  

After a bit of discussion, I finally advised him to 

"STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER" 

when he mentioned he was ready to rip the cover off of it. 

Wonder how long it will be before I get another package in the mail for Madison?

I've Been Evil Laughing All Day LONG!

Although I love to laugh I am definitely not what anyone would call a jokester.

But today I played a joke on a friend and I've been laughing about it all day. 

Seriously I've probably cracked up 10 different times just thinking about it!

It was one of those opportunities that just landed in my lap

{literally} and I just could NOT pass it by. 

So here's what happened............

I had an early meeting this morning at a coffee shop with some friends from work. 

There were four of us- me, B, M, and D. 

{no names to protect the innocent}

M and I sat down on a love seat while B and D each took a big comfy leather chair -

one at each end of the love seat.  

M and D got up to go to the counter to buy some coffee.  

B and I were chatting when she noticed that the cushions on the chairs had been switched. The chairs were similar but obviously different.  

She stood up and started to switch out the cushions.  

As she moved the cushion from her chair, 

I saw that there was something underneath the cushion- 

sitting on the base of the chair. 

I said....Oh look, someone left you a treat! 

{it looked like it was a package of some sort of candy from where I was sitting}

She picked it up and started CRACKING UP and tossed it to me. 

Imagine my surprise when I caught it and saw that it was a CONDOM!

We were cracking up and imaging how it must have fallen out 

of some college kids pocket who had been sitting in the chair recently.  

As I held it in my hand I looked to my left where my friend M had been sitting. 

And in her spot was her big old purse- sitting WIDE OPEN.

I looked at B and said.......

Oh I know exactly what I am going to do with this "treat"!

And I slipped it into M's big old purse and placed it in the bottom corner,

under a bunch of other things. 

So someday soon M will be digging for something in her purse-

maybe a pen, maybe her keys and she will pull out that little "treat"! 

{or maybe her husband will?}

And she will be wondering how in the world it go there!

{She's a fun friend who will think it's a hoot or I never would have done it!}

Bwahahahahahahaha!

Oh my I would seriously pay to be able to see her face when that happens!

Can you imagine?

Things that CRACK Me UP!

{Click the picture to view full screen!}

This is so funny and so spot on! 

via doghousediaries

via doghousediaries

via Brainless Tales

via Brainless Tales

While listening to last.fm {similar to Pandora} this message pops up from time to time and the line about "been eaten by a bear" make me laugh. 

I'm thinking she should be a lawyer......don't you?

Below is an actual email message I received yesterday while at work from my sweet daughter:

so i already texted you this but i figured you would see your email first.... 

so katie is really bored and so am i so we were thinking that her dad could drive her over here and then we wouldnt be bored! plus her mom needs to rest and not be bothered by katie. and we havent seen eachother in one week and one day. plus i would get off your computer! its a win win for everyone. and i love you.  alot.  :)          ~Madison~    

Where Old Panties Go to Die

Yesterday I figured out where old panties go to die.....

To the Fruit of the Loom Cemetery! 

In case you want to go visit, it's located at the corner of .........

Yellow Sheets

When we were cleaning out Madison's very messy closet 

the other day we came across a bag with some 

brand new, twin sized, pretty yellow sheets in them. 

Madison's room is blue and ivory (as are her sheets) and I didn't buy them 

so I was a tad perplexed as to where they came from and what they were for.  

I stepped out of the closet to ask her and she looked 

at me very seriously and said...

Oh, those are for my invisible bed. 

I said....

Um, your what?

She said....

Granny gave them to me for Christmas to use for the bed 

I don't have at my dad's house. 

So, I decided I would just use them on my invisible bed! 

That girl is a hoot!  

This.....

This.......


Made me Laugh out Loud: 
This post by The Inadvertent Farmer had me rolling on the floor. 

It is seriously hysterical!

Made me Hungry: 
 This recipe? YUMMY! 

So gonna make these soon!


Not sure why this link won't work- I test it and it's fine. 
I post it and it's not.
So here's the direct link:
http://sumossweetstuff.blogspot.com/2010/05/mouth-watering-wednesday-smores.html

Made me Think:  
This post by Angie is fabulous. 
Seriously stepped on my toes- so truthful and convicting.


Made me Covet:
This sign in red or black would look perfect on my office wall!  
Such a great reminder!


Made me Giggle:
This sign was on the sweet counselor at one of my 
elementary school's door yesterday when I arrived at school. 

Her husband is a football coach and has moved to take a new job

 so she's finishing up the school year here alone with 3 boys to raise and a house to sell. 

Bless her heart!

Sign Alteration

Don't you love how Madison changed my sign?

Hamburger

When I was in the 11th grade

 I vividly remember going to the movies
 to see the Eddie Murphy movie Raw.

My 40 year old self is absolutely SHOCKED to the core that

1. My mother would let me go see that movie. 

(so wish I could ask her- what were you thinking?)

2. That I would even consider going to see that movie. 

3. That I went to that movie on a first date with a boy 
I was absolutely smitten with.

(and had been in love with for a very LONG time)

I remember that neither that sweet boy nor I had even the slightest idea 

what type of movie it really was and 

I was so nervous and excited to be going out with him

 that I would have watched anything.

Absolutely anything. 

Seriously.
Even a bloody horror movie- and I HATE those.

(oh the things we do for love!)

I vividly remember sitting in the theater turning
9 million shades of red as we watched Raw.
I couldn't believe I was watching that movie
and that I was watching it next to J. 

The language in that movie was horrid. Seriously horrid. 

The f word was said what seemed like at least 2,000 times.

I don't remember much about the movie at all other than the terrible language 

and the fact that
 I was so stinkin' excited to be there with J that I could barely sit still!!

But there was one bit in the movie that

 I still remember over 23 years later
  (good night nurse I am old!) 

because it absolutely cracked me up! 

I found that bit on line last night and it had me almost crying watching it. 

There are a few (3 I think) ugly words in it (but not the f word)

so be warned if you watch it. 

But if you need a laugh today, watch it because it is a hoot!
(and if you do watch it, check out the gloves he wears the whole time- talk about an 80's flash back!)

A Work of Fiction

At a certain age, your child goes from wanting you to

 tell funny stories about them to everyone, 

to NOT wanting you to, AT ALL.  

And my Madison, well, she's reached that age. 

So today, since I can't write about her,

 I'm going to write a totally hypothetical story. 

It is in no way related to anyone I know at all. 

Pure fiction. 

NOTE: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. 

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
 is purely coincidental.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Adison.  

Adison was 13 and loved to dance. 

She danced at LouAnn's School of Dance and

 had been taking lessons there for 8 years. 

She was at that age where she started getting her monthly "friend". 

Her mother Fannon had taught her to always be prepared- 

to have "supplies" with her at all time- 

in her locker at school and in her dance bag. 

Well one night while at dance Adison called her mother 

and said that she was out of "supplies" and urgently needed some. 

Her mother, even though she was a tad 

irritated since she had told Adison 

over and over again to be prepared,

 brought one to Adison right away. 

The "supply" that Adison's mom took to her was the last one in the house,

so when Adison's dad Rony picked her 

and her best friend Matie up from dance

they headed to the store to purchase some more "supplies".

Now Adison did NOT want to purchase these supplies, 

because she was embarassed.

Rony, however did not mind a bit taking her to the store 
and buying them as he's often had to do that for his wife. 

So, as Adison and Matie hid at the end of the asile, 

pretending to look at something else,

Rony looked for the supplies. 

Since the girls wouldn't come closer to him, 

Rony YELLED down the asile 

"Do you need regular or maxi?"

Of course Adison and Matie were MORTIFIED and ran and hid. 

Rony sent his wife Fannon a text message
 to find out what he needed to buy,

picked them up and went off to find the girls. 

As he found them in another part of the store, 
he held the package up and said VERY loudly 

"Are these the right ones Adison?"

Of course, the girls were again horrified and ran away.

As they got their other purchases and were standing in line to pay, 

Rony again held the supplies up and said 

"Gosh, these things sure are expensive Adison!"

So, the moral of this completely HYPOTHETICAL story is two-fold:

1. Listen to your wise Momma and always be prepared.

2. If you are too embarrassed to buy your own "supplies" at the store, 

don't take your dad with you because he will embarrass you for sure! 

The END.