Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Happy Brain Surgery Anniversary

Its hard to believe it's been a year since my brain surgery.
A whole year.
365 days.
52 weeks.
8,760 hours.
525,600 minutes.
It's hard to wrap my head around that number.
In some ways it feels like it happened yesterday 
and I can vividly remember my terror and pain (oh the pain!) 
and then in other ways it seems like it's been a really long time.

I get asked often how I feel.
And I've often struggled with what to say.

Physically it's fairly easy to explain:
  • My right eye still doesn't tear {one eyed ugly crying still} & the right side of my mouth doesn't produce enough saliva so I use eye drops and a special mouthwash several times a day to help.
  • I struggle with some pretty awful headaches- especially when I'm overly tired and stressed. These aren't normal headaches- they are always on the side where my surgery was and nothing really helps to get rid of them except time and rest. I think that one lesson I needed to learn was to slow down and say no sometimes and the headaches remind me of that lesson when I forget.
  • I'm totally deaf in my right ear and that's probably been the largest daily reminder. Best part of being deaf in one ear? Put your good ear on the pillow when you go to sleep and you sleep LIKE A BABY! Learning where to sit in a place with lots of people talking {restaurants, conferences, church, etc} and learning to walk on the right side when walking with someone is becoming more normal as time passes. In super noisy spaces I have a really hard time hearing people talking to me which I hate but I'm learning to deal with. Getting used to everything being so stinkin' loud has definitely taken getting used to. I expected the opposite to be true- that everything would be super quiet but instead everything is loud- especially people on the phone. It's because all sounds are funneled into one ear instead of balanced out among two.

Emotionally it's almost impossible to explain.
Do I feel grateful? Absolutely.
Do I feel thankful? Definitely.
Do I feel relieved? So very much.
Do I feel blessed? Beyond measure.
But there's so much more to it.

As I was reading Ann Voskamp over this past year
{I heart her so!}
a word she uses often struck me as the perfect word to describe how I feel.



Quick definition from Ann:
The root word of eucharisteo is charis, meaning “grace.” Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and gave thanks. He took the bread and knew it to be gift and gave thanks. Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek word for grace, charis. But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word chara, meaning “joy.” Charis. Grace. Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. Chara. Joy.


Joy.
Charis.
Grace.
Thanksgiving.
Eucharisteo.

As I write this this morning, I am weepy and overwhelmed with thanksgiving. 
I am thankful that God is able and that He carries us when we can't walk on our own. 
I am thankful for my amazing friends and family that walked me through one of the darkest times in my life. For every prayer uttered on my behalf, for every meal brought to feed my family, 
for every minute sat in the hospital waiting as I was in surgery, 
for every sweet note, text, or email, for every sweet gift given to me, 
for every hug I am thankful. 

I am thankful for every awful headache I get, because it's a reminder that I am still here, 
that the outcome could have been so very different. 
I'm thankful that my story has a happy ending 
but am even more thankful for a God that is good and able 
even when the ending is not as we have hoped and prayed.
He is able. 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I Will Remember.


You can print a PDF or JPG copy HERE

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Dude.

I say "Dude" an awful lot. 
{Probably way too much in all honesty}.
"Dude. No way."
"Dude. Seriously?"
"Dude. What the heck?"


So when Madison and I were shopping for tshirts at Baylor and found one that said 
Dude on the front and Baylor on the back she insisted I buy it. 

So I did. 

And the first time I wore it I spent 15 minutes in the 
bathroom taking selfies while making different faces
{Poor Tony just kept shaking his head}. 

That way, instead of sending a text that said "dude", 
I can send a picture of my with my dude shirt on. 

It was one of the most ridiculous things ever but I have had more
 fun commenting on Facebook with a dude pic or sending a dude pic text.  

It's the little things people.

Okay. Now you tell me something ridiculous you've done lately.


Monday, September 1, 2014

The One Who Calls You is FAITHFUL & HE Will Do It!

I don't know about you, but I so often need the reminder 
that I don't have to feel qualified to do what God is calling me to do.  
If He calls me, HE will do it. 

This is one of my favorite verses and one that I cling to 
when I feel like I am not equipped or prepared or able to do what God has before me. 
There is such comfort to me knowing it's not up to me! 
You can print a PDF or JPG copy HERE! 


Saturday, July 12, 2014

ETSY Anyone?

So......I opened an ETSY store today. 
How crazy is that? 

I've thought about opening one for forever but didn't for lots of reasons. 
One was that I wasn't sure I had time. 
{But seriously, who needs sleep?}
The other was that I wasn't sure anyone would want to buy anything I have to sell. 
But I figured, why the heck not? 

I love making things and had the idea for some prayer cards with scriptures for parents
so I made them and decided to post them. 
{If I don't sell anything I'll just close it- no biggie, right?} 
I've only got a few items listed but will be adding more, 
including a custom printable item for those that would like 
a specific quote or verse created. 


If you'd like to check it out, you can find it HERE.  



Monday, June 30, 2014

This Job

Life has been so hard for so many of my sweet friends lately. 
I've spent many nights praying and praying and praying
for peace and wisdom and strength for each of them.
It's heartbreaking to watch others go through pain
and struggle and not be able to do anything about it!

I came across this quote from Elisabeth Elliot
{I heart her so!}
and just loved it.  
It's such a great reminder in something I strongly believe in-
God causes or allows everything.
Oh to be as wise and faithful as she was! 


Sunday, June 8, 2014

Worry Slanders Every Promise of God

I've spent most of my life a worrier. 
I worry about everything.
No seriously, EVERYTHING. 

My husband, my daughter, my dad, my sister, my family,
my inlaws, my cousins, that people won't like me, 
 the health of my family, my friends, my job, finances,
 my dogs, my marriage, my friendships, 
my health, accidents, death, 
spiders, pickles getting on my food, ants.
You name it, I worry about it. 
And I hate it. 

Because I KNOW that God tell me so many times not to worry....


Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, 
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, 
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:34 
 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. 
Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Colossians 3:15 
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
 to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 
 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. 
The Lord be with you all.

Psalm 55:22 
 Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; 
he will never permit the righteous to be moved

Hebrews 13:6 
So we can confidently say, 
 “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

Psalm 46:10 
 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, 
 I will be exalted in the earth!”

Psalm 56:3 
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

Psalm 121:1-2
 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 
My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

Proverbs 3:5-6 
 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, 
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

1 Corinthians 10:13 
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. 
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, 
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,
 that you may be able to endure it.

Romans 8:31 
 What then shall we say to these things?
 If God is for us, who can be against us?



As I prepare to send Madison off to college in a few months, 
my worry tendencies seem to be OUT of control. 
I'm spending lots of time reminding myself of God's promises. 
This quote sums up what I know to be true about worry 
and is one of my all time favorites.

If you, like me, need a reminder not to worry, 
you can print out your own copy HERE

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Suck It UP Buttercup

This time of year is always CRAZY busy 
for everyone and it seems like we sprint from one event to the next
and are just treading water to make it through!
Add in having a child that is graduating
 and this year is even crazier than normal!  

Lately this is one of my absolute favorite sayings- 
but I say it more often to myself than anyone else. 

If you too need this reminder, you can print your own copy HERE.  

I also did a white background print for those that don't want to use so much ink! 


Sunday, May 11, 2014

Why I Hate Mother's Day

Anyone that knows me knows I am a holiday girl. 
I LOVE all holidays!
I love the family gathering, I love the fun, I love the traditions. 
 I love them, all except one......Mother's Day.

To be honest, I hate Mother's Day.
Yes...I truly HATE it. 

Every year I dread May and all the sweet commercials about mothers. 
Every year I say something about hating Mother's Day 
and my sweet friends immediately start saying things about how I should love it 
because I am a mother and it's a day to honor me. 

And to some extent they are right- 
I am a mother and absolutely LOVE being Madison's mom. 
It truly is my favorite job on earth. 
I spent many years and countless nights on my knees 
praying to become a mother and I love being Madison's mom. 

But here's the thing........
Mother's Day is a day to honor your mother. 

And my mother isn't here. 


The void left by that beautiful and amazing woman-
the strongest, kindest, most loving, most selfless woman I have ever known is huge.
I miss her every single solitary day with every single fiber of my being. 

I miss her laugh, her wise words, her sweet hugs,
her hugs, her insane creativity,
her crazy passion and love for those she loved. 

Sometimes I feel the pain of her absence so strongly, 
so deeply that I feel that it will overtake me. 


I so often think of all the stories I never got to hear her tell, 
the trips we never got to take, 
the conversations we never got to have, 
the memories we never got to make, 
the projects we never got to do, 
the meals we never got to make and share, 
the holidays we never got to share, 
all the lessons she never got to teach me, 
the laughs and tears we never got to share and I feel so cheated. 

I so often think of all the amazing things about her and 
all that was lost when she died. 
The world was truly a better place with her in it. 
My world was a better place with her in it. 
And it sucks that the world no longer has her. 
That I no longer have my biggest cheerleader and most amazing 
role model, comforter, and protector. 
And to be honest sometimes it makes me angry. 

Although I am so blessed and so very thankful to know that she's in heaven- 
whole and healed and worshiping with Jesus,
and although I would not change that fact for anything, 
this is one of the days each year that 
miss her so much my heart truly aches. 

I so often think that I was robbed of such an amazing mother. 
I was not prepared or ready at the age of 32 to lose my mother- 
not that you EVER are.
I wasn't done growing up, I wasn't done needing her, 
I wasn't done being taught by her, 
I wasn't done loving her and being loved by her.

Every single time I watch Maddie dance I cry 
because my mom never got to see her dance and I know 
how much she would have absolutely loved it. 
She never got to truly know the girl that is 
my beautiful, amazing, precious, funny daughter.
As I watched Madison dance for the last time in her Spring Show last night
my heart hurt thinking of how much my mama would have loved being there-
cheering and crying and being proud with me. 

Although Madison has memories of my mother and pictures of her and 
we try hard to tell her stories and all the wonderful things about my mother, 
she does not truly know the wonderful woman that was her Nana. 
She's been alive more than double the years without her Nana
that she was with her Nana. 
And I hate, hate, hate that. 

So please forgive me if hate this holiday. 
I'm sorry but being reminded of the huge void left by amazing mother
 is not something I can celebrate. 

I'll spend much of the day in tears wishing I had
 just another minute with my sweet mama. 
Just one more hug. 
One more time to hold her hand. 
One more time to hear her voice. 
Please forgive me for that and please understand 
and not try to convince me to feel otherwise. 

And if you are still lucky enough to have your sweet mama, 
please please please treasure every moment you are blessed to have her. 
Because sadly one day, you too will hate Mother's Day. 




Friday, May 9, 2014

MOTHER

One more quick printable for those of you who need a little something for your sweet mama! 

This so describes my sweet mother.  
She was truly all of these things and so much more. 
If you are blessed to still have your mama, 
be sure to treasure each and every moment with her!  

Print your own copy to give away HERE

Thursday, May 8, 2014

My Angel Mother

I had a sweet friend ask the other day if I had ever done any printables
 for Mother's Day and sadly my answer was no. 

To be totally honest I don't really like Mother's Day because it 
makes me miss my sweet mama 
so very much that I've just never made one. 

But I decided that it was time to change that and share 
one of my very favorite quotes from Abraham Lincoln.  





This would be a sweet quote to print out and give to your sweet mama. 
I did it in both color and the chalkboard look and you can print out either one HERE. 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

HE Will Go Before You

There are days when I feel like everything in my life is a big giant mess. 
That no matter what I say or do or how hard I try,
nothing works and it's all futile
and I am a big giant failure. 

When I have those messy, crooked days I turn in my bible to Isaiah. 
{Isaiah is my favorite book of the bible}

This verse is such a precious reminder that my 
sweet Lord and Savior goes before me
and that if I will just rest in Him, 
instead of trying to fix everything myself.  
HE will make the crooked places straight. 


You can print out your own copy HERE if you need this reminder too!