Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Facebook Makes Me Feel Like Poop

I love Facebook.  

I really do.

I love it because it lets me daily connect to and keep up 
with friends in my own town 
that I don't get to see or talk to every day. 

I love it because it has been a great way to reconnect 
with friends from my past and keep in contact with them.

I love it because it helps me to be able to specifically 
be able to pray for and minister to people who I wouldn't normally be able to. 

I love it because it just fun and 
a great way to relax at the end of the day.

But to be honest, there are sometimes that I do NOT love it. 

At all. 

Sometimes it makes me feel like

Big fat, unattractive, unaccomplished, unimpressive, ugly, stinky 

Sometimes on Facebook I look at the accomplishments of others 
at the pictures of others
at the relationships of others
at the physical beauty of others
at the good deeds of others
at the homes of others
at the families of others
at the experiences of others
at the hearts of others
at the jobs of others
and it makes me feel like I suck. 

Like what I do, who I am, how I live, where I live, how I look, 
is just not right and 
is just not enough. 

 I let it allow me to compare myself to others
 and find myself lacking in each and every single area.

I covet and compare and I realize that I don't measure up-
at all.

And sometimes I want to just wallow in that.
And sometimes, to be honest, I do.

But lately when I start feeling that way, 
I try to remind myself  of two things -
 that things are not always what they seem and
that God created me to live MY life

I know very well that those Facebook friends 
who seem to have the perfect life,
have their own struggles, their own problems, their own insecurities.
Because there is no perfect life this side of heaven. 

We only show people on FB and Twitter and our blogs the person 
we want people to see- 
not necessarily the one with flaws and problems and struggles.  
It's not that we are dishonest, just that we show only part of our life.

Just because we see only the pretty side of their life, 
that doesn't mean that there isn't another, less pretty, poopy side of their life. 

Instead of focusing on others and the fact that I suck compared to them,
here's what I try to remember:

He created ME, 
he loves ME,
 and called ME specifically and purposefully
 to live out my exact life-
not the life of someone else. 

And so on those days when Facebook makes me feel like poop,
instead of focusing on not being enough
I'm learning to focus on living the life God has blessed me with-
challenges, problems, insecurities, and all.

“This place where you are right now,
God circled on a map for you.”
~Hafiz (14th century poet)