CREATOR not Critics Count

I spent much of yesterday ridiculously dwelling 

 on an hurtful/unkind-ish email

 (non-work related FYI) I was sent yesterday. 

{Why is it that we can get 1,000 kind comments but the one 

we tend to focus on is the single UNkind one? }

As I've read and prayed about it I've been reminded of what I KNOW to be true... 

that my audience, my true audience, is Him and NO ONE else. 

I am thankful for that truth and for sweet friends who remind me of that truth when I forget.

Galatians 1:10 says...

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? 

Or am I trying to please people? 

If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Don't Limit Me

You simply must read this letter from a 15 year old girl named Emily with Down Syndrome

posted by Beth Foraker. 

These are her hopes after high school: 

Her plan: 

1. Go to college

2. Keep learning. {LOVE this so!}

3. Graduate like normal kids. 

Three jobs she would like to have: 

1. Make up artist

2. Teach toddlers in preschool

3. Make fruit smoothies

Three things she needs: 

1. Have the peer tutors put their phones away and help me. {this breaks my heart}

2. I want the teachers to treat me kind. Don't act like you are frustrated with me. I have Down Syndrome and need help. {wow}

3. I want the teachers to see how smart I am. 

On the back of her note Emily wrote: 

"Time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through. 

Don't limit me." 

Wow. 

Just wow. 

Sweet Emily is so wise. 

What an amazing reminder to us all!

#dontlimitme

No Words

For someone who enjoys talking and does so 

quite often,

 quite freely,

 quite quickly,

 it's rare that I am at a loss for words. 

But after serving for the past week as a juror in a capital murder trial, 

I truly am at a loss for words. 

It was fascinating to serve as a juror and I learned so much. 

But as a result, my heart hurts.

A lot.

I have so many thoughts running through my mind, 

so many stories, and so many lessons I've learned

 and I promise to share them with you.

Hopefully soon.  

But for now........I have no words.

The Best Valentine

As I spent last week at a technology conference it was

 easy to think of all the things I wished I had.  

I wished I had an iPad, I wished I had an iPhone 4, 

I wished I had unlimited funds to buy all the things I saw. 

And I love how God showed me- as He always does- 

that I truly have all that I need and oh SO much more.

I know in my heart that I am blessed, truly blessed,

 with things, opportunities, and people in my life, 

but sometimes I lose sight of that in the midst 

of this materialistic world we live in. 

The other day my sweetest friend Dory posted about a Mayan family with some serious needs.  A father with some serious medical concerns, children not in school due to the cost, and a family eating only tortillas with salt each day because they can't afford to even buy beans. The father can't work and so they survive on bead work

 that the mother does earning only $6 a week. 

{Sweet Dory donated money so that the father can

 receive the medical treatment he so obviously needs.}

As I read about this family and looked at

 their pictures my heart broke.  

It broke for all that I have and all that they do not have.  

It broke as I thought about all of the ways that we waste money 

and all of the times I throw food away because I cooked too much

 or because we were just tired of it.  

It broke as I thought about this family who if they came to our house

 would think that we were extremely rich and

 who would love to have even just the things that we throw away- 

and would probably then consider themselves rich.  

So I decided to sponsor Antonio Abraham, 

who is 10 and in the 4th grade

 so that he could attend school.  

For only $180 a year, for $15 a month,

 less than $3.50 a week this sweet little boy can get an education. 

 $3.50 a week is not even half of what I spend on Sonic drinks a week.  

And that makes me ashamed.

It makes me sad to think of all the ways I waste money,

 money that could instead be used to truly help those in need.  

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and although I received lots of treats- 

beautiful tulips, lots of candy, some sweet cards- 

the best gift I received came via email late last night.  

In my mailbox was an update about sweet little Antonio Abraham 

who yesterday got his backpack for school and two pairs of new shoes.

Look at that smile.  

It's truly priceless. 

And without a doubt, that is the best $15 a month I'll ever spend. 

If you are interested in helping one of these families, 

please go here to see the latest needs. 

What does that LOOK like?

So yesterday I shared that my goal for this year is :

To live fully and in today. To be here in this moment- not the one yet to be.  To participate fully. To treasure each day as the gift that it is. To stop being so busy planning for tomorrow or next week or next month or next year and instead live NOW. To stop multi-tasking all the time and instead savor today. To relish and languish in the gifts of the people in my life. To soak up each day. To linger, to laugh, to slow down. To relish. To live abundantly.

I truly meant those words with all of my heart and pray that I am able to live more abundantly this year. 

However wanting to do so, merely saying the words, will not make it happen.

There have to be steps I commit to take to accomplish this goal. 

Because if I don't think of and come up with a plan
 I will certainly fail in accomplishing it.  
So I've been thinking about what living abundantly will look like for me.

In thinking about what steps I need to take to do so, I've realized that many of them are going to take me breaking some bad habits that I have. Don't you hate that? Realizing that you have picked up a few yucky habits? It hasn't been comfortable to both consider that these things are habits of mine and to think about having to change my actions.  

{True confession: I started this post and thought to myself....

{Man, I don't want to post this because if I do I'll have to be accountable 

to my friends who read it.  Maybe I should just keep it to myself?}

But I'm doing it anyway because I know I should. }

So after lots of thinking and praying about it, 
 here are just three of the steps 
I am going to take to work towards my goal:

1.  Step away from the computer and give my family my undivided attention.

This one will absolutely be the most difficult one for me to stick to. Hands down- it's going to be hard. If I am being totally honest, I am on the computer for the vast majority of my waking hours.  While being on the computer isn't a problem in itself, being on the computer instead of focusing on my family and those that I love is a problem.  Due to the nature of my job, I'm on the computer all day long at work.  Then I turn on my computer when I get home from work and it's on until I go to bed.  Although I do other things during that time- cook dinner, eat dinner, clean up, do laundry, household chores, work on projects, read, watch tv, talk to my husband and daughter- the computer is on and I am on it much of that time. 

So instead of talking to my daughter while on the computer and instead of watching tv with my husband while simultaneously being on the computer, I'm going to step away and give them my complete attention.  Because although the computer is a fabulous, fun, friend- connecting tool for me- my family deserves me to fully be with them- not my half heart attention. 

Because Dory and I do much of our talking via IM in the evenings, this will be a further challenge for me.  I definitely can NOT give that up (no way Jose!) because she's the one that keeps me sane(ish?), so I'm going to have to be on the computer some in the evenings so I can chat with her. But maybe she and I can also start actually talking on the phone instead of just texting and IMing all the time? 

2. Stop multi-tasking when someone comes in to my office and instead focus all of my intention on the person in front of me.

When someone comes in to my office - be it just to visit or to get my help- I am always working on something.  Typically I will continue working as I talk to that person.  I usually mention that I'm listening but just multi-tasking and of course they are kind and say "Of course- go right ahead!".  But honestly, what does that say to them? What message am I conveying? I'm pretty sure it gives them the message that they aren't very important to me- which is not true at all and certainly not the message I want to send to anyone. 

So from now on, when someone comes in to my office, I'll stop what I'm doing and focus on them- giving them my undivided attention.  My prayer is that they will feel important and valued and treasured~ because they are! 

3. Put down my phone when with a friend or family member and focus on them.

I love my iphone.  Seriously, I love it. I love how with the touch of a button I can check Facebook or my email or text message or read a blog or play a game or read a book.  It's an amazing piece of technology but it's also something I've realized has begun to keep me from being fully present, from focusing on and listening to the person sitting directly in front of me.  

I have noticed recently how much I (and many of my friends) seem to check my phone. I became super aware of this recently when having lunch with a friend.  She spent the entire time checking her phone and texting.  She seriously would be in the middle of saying something, her phone would ding and she would stop- mid sentence- to read and answer it.  This happened time after time after time and by the end of our time together I was so very sad and wondered why we even got together because she talked more to the person she was texting than to me.  After we parted ways, I actually texted Dory and said something along the lines of...."If I ever ignore you because I'm texting someone else when with you, please slap me silly!" 

I am truly blessed with some amazing friends and family and my time with them always seems too short.  Why in the world would I want to make them feel less than important and to make them think that I didn't treasure my time with them? 

So from now on, when with a friend or family member, I will put my phone on vibrate and not check FB or reply to text messages (other than those that are from my family and must be returned quickly). I will focus on being with my friends and make sure they know how much I love and treasure them. 

These are just three things but I know they will be a challenge for me 
and I'm going to need some help.
 So if you are someone I see in real life

please please please 

help me to be accountable. 


God tells us many times in the Bible to help each other be accountable. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says: 

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,  

just as in fact you are doing.

So.....
If you see me on the computer on FB or IM all night long.....

ask me how my goal for the year is going. 

If you walk in my office and I don't stop what I'm doing....

ask me how my goal for the year is going. 

If I am with you and I pick up my phone to text or check FB....

ask me how my goal for the year is going. 




I'm so excited looking forward to 2011 and what I can accomplish, 
how I can grow, how God can use and change me, how I can bless the people in my life!


What about you?
What's one of your goals for 2011 
and what's one step you are taking to reach it?

To Live Abundantly

I love the promise of a new year. 

A clean slate.

A blank book.

A fresh start.

A new beginning.

I've been praying about what God wants me to focus on

 and how He wants me to stretch and change and grow in this new year.

I've noticed that much of my life

{much more than I'd like to admit}

 is not spent in the here and now.

In the midst of any given moment, 

I'm thinking ahead to the next event, the next day,

 the next task on my long list of things to do. 

I'm not fully present in the moment-

 not reveling in the gift of what God has given me. 

Not focusing on the people I am blessed to have in my life

 sitting right in front of me

but instead jumping ahead to a moment that is yet to be. 

Neglecting now for a tomorrow that hasn't even happened.

While talking with some sweet friends this week the talk turned to 

children growing up and how you never know

 when it will be the last time a child does something as a baby.

You'll never know the last time they let you rock them to sleep, 

to mispronounce a word in a cute way,

 to do any of those precious things for the last time 

as they grow out of babyhood and into childhood.

That conversation has stuck with me and

 I find myself thinking of it over and over and over again.

I keep thinking how that truly applies to all of our life. 

We are not promised tomorrow and we don't know if that

 last conversation with a friend, 

that last trip to visit a parent, 

that last meal shared as a family 

could be the one you are experiencing today.

If we knew it were - wouldn't we be fully 100% there 

and focused on those people in front of us?

Soaking in every single detail about them,

 hanging on every word they said, loving them fully and completely?

My answer to that is YES. Heck yes!

So my goal this year

 {among the standard lose weight, eat healthier, exercise, blah blah blah}

 is to live fully and in today. 

To be here in this moment- not the one yet to be.

To participate fully.

To treasure each day as the gift that it is.

To stop being so busy planning for tomorrow

 or next week or next month or next year 

and instead live NOW.

To stop multi-tasking all the time and instead savor today.

To relish and languish in the gifts of the people in my life.

To soak up each day.

To linger, to laugh, to slow down.

To relish.

To live abundantly.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.  Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.  Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.  Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.  One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.  

~Mary Jean Iron~

You Are.....

You are not your past

You are not your failures

You are not your parents

You are not your sister

You are not your regrets

You are not your sin

You are not your weight

You are not your divorce

You are not your unemployment

You are not the choices someone else made for you

You are not your brokenness

You are not your bitterness

You are not your abuse

You are not your loneliness

You are not your marital status

You are not your tax bracket

You are not your crisis

This is who YOU are:

You are loved

You are forgiven

You are redeemed

You are destined

You are set apart

You are a new creation

You are valued

You are gifted

You are chosen

You are prized

You are reconciled

You are called

You are noticed

You are pursued

You are a child of The King

You are a co-heir with Christ

You are a royal priesthood

You are adored, cherished and treasured by the God of this universe.

When you choose to stop living out who you are not

 and you start to live in who you are.....

It changes everything.

Thoughts from the CCU at 4:49am

I've been at the hospital for almost 24 with my dad who had surgery to remove blockage in the carotid artery in the right side of his neck.  He's doing fairly well but has been in CCU since about noon yesterday.  We are hoping that after they get him up and walking this morning he will be released.  As I've sat in this waiting room for the last many, many hours (I can only see him at 5:30am, 9:30am, 1pm, 5:30pm, and  8pm) I've thought of many things.  


Here are just a few:

• It is painful to watch people find out their loved one is going to die.  Truly heartbreaking. And I've seen it 4 times in the last day. Heartbreaking.
• I am blessed to have such sweet friends.  Truly blessed.
• God works in mysterious and amazing ways.  He is truly awesome.
• Hospital waiting rooms become like families after dark.  You share snacks, books, blankets- everything- with people you just met. 
• The chairs in CCU are NOT meant for sleeping. AT ALL. Especially if you have a herniated disc.  
• You have no secrets in the waiting room.  You can hear every phone conversation and conversation with a doctor that goes on.
• People handle grief and pain differently. Some laugh, some cry, some are silent, some are LOUD, some yell, some curse.  There is no right way. 
• As much as I hate that I am here, I am thankful that I've been here to pray for so many hurting, devastated families. 

Revelation Song 9-11 Tribute

Back Pain Lessons

Having spent the better part of the last week laying in bed with some serious back issues, I've had lots of time to think. Here are a few things I've realized:

1. Laying around is really, really, really hard for me. 

Ridiculously hard.

2. I am surrounded by caring and kind friends and family.

I am truly blessed.

3. I have issues with wanting to control everything around me

which is why I try to do everything.

4. The world will not end if I let others help me. Really it won't. 

5. Your back is involved in just about every single move you make.

6. When you don't listen to God to slow down, He sometimes must speak 

VERY LOUDLY TO YOU. 

7. I don't give the people who love me enough of an opportunity

 to take care of me and show me they love me.

That makes me a joy stealer. :(

8. Daytime TV stinks. Seriously stinks. 

9. The world also will not end if I let some things go. Really it won't. 

10. I have some FUN and FUNNY friends. 

Anyone who will pray for you to poop

(sorry TMI I'm sure- but it's a lovely side effect of pain meds and back probs) 

and send you funny text messages when you are stuck in bed is truly awesome! 

Want to Buy a T-Shirt?

In January my sweet friend Dory and I are going on a trip together. 

But not just any trip, on a mission trip to Guatemala. 

Specifically to work in orphanages in Guatemala.

To hold babies in those orphanages. 

A trip that will no doubt be 

amazing

eye-opening

gut-wrenching

exhausting

heart breaking

and one that will undoubtedly change us both forever. 

To help raise the money for our trips we are selling t-shirts.  

Cute black t-shirts (both v-neck and regular) with this saying on them:

If you'd like to buy one (or more :), 

click below for an order form or leave me a comment 

and I'll be happy to email you one! 

Mission Trip T-Shirt Flyer

Facebook Makes Me Feel Like Poop

I love Facebook.  

I really do.

I love it because it lets me daily connect to and keep up 
with friends in my own town 

that I don't get to see or talk to every day. 

I love it because it has been a great way to reconnect 

with friends from my past and keep in contact with them.

I love it because it helps me to be able to specifically 
be able to pray for and minister to people who I wouldn't normally be able to. 

I love it because it just fun and 
a great way to relax at the end of the day.

But to be honest, there are sometimes that I do NOT love it. 

At all. 

Sometimes it makes me feel like
poop.


Big fat, unattractive, unaccomplished, unimpressive, ugly, stinky 
poop.

Sometimes on Facebook I look at the accomplishments of others 

at the pictures of others

at the relationships of others

at the physical beauty of others

at the good deeds of others

at the homes of others

at the families of others

at the experiences of others

at the hearts of others

at the jobs of others

and it makes me feel like I suck. 

Like what I do, who I am, how I live, where I live, how I look, 

is just not right and 
is just not enough. 

 I let it allow me to compare myself to others

 and find myself lacking in each and every single area.

I covet and compare and I realize that I don't measure up-
at all.

And sometimes I want to just wallow in that.

And sometimes, to be honest, I do.

But lately when I start feeling that way, 

I try to remind myself  of two things -
 that things are not always what they seem and
that God created me to live MY life

I know very well that those Facebook friends 

who seem to have the perfect life,

have their own struggles, their own problems, their own insecurities.
Because there is no perfect life this side of heaven. 


We only show people on FB and Twitter and our blogs the person 
we want people to see- 
not necessarily the one with flaws and problems and struggles.  
It's not that we are dishonest, just that we show only part of our life.


Just because we see only the pretty side of their life, 
that doesn't mean that there isn't another, less pretty, poopy side of their life. 


Instead of focusing on others and the fact that I suck compared to them,
here's what I try to remember:


He created ME, 
he loves ME,
 and called ME specifically and purposefully
 to live out my exact life-
not the life of someone else. 



And so on those days when Facebook makes me feel like poop,
instead of focusing on not being enough
I'm learning to focus on living the life God has blessed me with-
challenges, problems, insecurities, and all.

“This place where you are right now,
God circled on a map for you.”

~Hafiz (14th century poet)