Precious

Be sure to grab some tissues before you watch this precious, precious story.

Links I Love

WeightView: I saw this site on Rachel Ray and simply had to try it out myself. Basically you go to the site, sign up, pick an amount of weight you would like to lose (anywhere from 5-50 lbs.) and send in a picture of yourself. Within 48 hours they email you a picture of yourself at your desired weight. It's a fabulous way to visualize yourself at a certain weight and to truly motivate yourself to get there! If I was really brave I would post my before and after pics but....um............I'm not that brave. Don't think you need to know what I'd look like if I was skinny (but if you REALLY want to see them- email me and I'll send them to you as soon as they arrive).

ConKerr Cancer Pillowcases: A site dedicated to making handmade pillowcases for kids with cancer. There are even detailed directions on how to make the pillowcases. Maddie and I are headed to Walmart tomorrow to pick up some fabric and get started making some! Such a precious idea!

Face Your Pockets: This site shows things that are living in the pockets of your bag, jeans, or jacket. The goal of the project is to show the treasures in peoples pockets as well as to show the owner of them. What a fun and interesting idea!

Super Easy Ways to Decorate a Cake: This site shows 9 easy and CUTE ways to decorate a cake using easily found items from the grocery store. A speedy way to dress up a plain cake for your next get together! Love, love, love these!

A Simple Reminder: A wonderful story to remind us all that God loves and protects us each and every single day.

The Cutest Blog on the Block: This site is full of fabulous, fun, and FREE backgrounds that can be used on blogs or as your desktop or wallpaper. (Thanks to my sweet friend Donna for showing me this site! )

Slower Cooker Fajitas Recipe: This is a recipe I found recently that I will be trying later this week. Sounds yummy and easy and a great way to use your crock pot and keep your kitchen cool in the summer heat.

Dory

Spending a week with my sweet friend Dory is a rare and precious treat. It was truly a gift.

A gift I am so ever thankful for. Especially because the drive here to Texas was so long, so difficult, and so exhausting for her, her girls, and her sweet husband.

Only a true and precious friend would make such a long drive. And Dory is truly a precious friend and a gift from God.

Here are just a few things I loved about our little vacation...........

-Watching our three girls have a ball together and listening to them laugh and play together.

-Getting forehead warnings and laughing about nutbobs!

-Listening to Dory laugh so hard she snorted. I LOVE her little snort! :)

-Watching movies and crying together.

-Looking at old pictures together.

-Going shopping together- instead of talking to her or sending her pictures while shopping. Way more fun!

-Playing Scrabble together. So much more fun than playing online.

-Visiting with her sweet and funny girls. They are so adorable and such a hoot!

-Planning a tea party for our girls and acting as their servers.

-Washing dishes together and chatting about everything, anything, and nothing.

-Sitting on the porch each morning (her with her coffee and me with my Diet Coke) listening and watching the birds as the sun rose.

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had. ~Author Unknown~

Thank you sweet Dory for coming to Texas to see me.

I love you sweet friend!

Updated to add:
-Getting to hug her husband D's sweet neck. He truly is fabulous, sweet, and charming! Only a sweetheart would get up at 3:30am to drive to the airport to fly to Texas- arriving at 12:40 only to stop for a quick lunch and then get in the van and drive 14 hours home- just so sweet Dory didn't have to do it on her own. He honestly is amazing and I owe him BIG time! Thank you D from the bottom of my heart!

On Vacation

The Road

I'm praying that this is true for sweet Dory

and her girls as they make the long journey to Texas today!

Drive safely my sweet friend!

I can't wait to see you!

There Are Times

There are times I've probably said all of the old cliched sayings many times before.

Things like:

-Time heals all wounds.

-It's so wonderful that she's no longer in pain and now she's in a better place.

-I know just how you feel.

-It'll get easier as time goes by.

-Don't be sad, you'll see her again one day.

Although I've said them all before, know without a doubt that they are said in love and kindness, and know in my heart that many are true, there are times on days like today- the 6th anniversary of my sweet mother's death- they are simply empty words that do nothing to soothe my aching and breaking heart.

It's been six years since I stood by my precious mother's bedside, held her hand, and told her that it was okay for her to leave us.

I so vividly remember standing there, with my heart absolutely, positively breaking and lying to her over and over and over again saying...........

"It's okay Mommy- we are going to be fine. You've loved us enough for a lifetime and I know you're tired of fighting and it's okay. We will miss you but I know how tired you are it's okay to stop fighting now. I promise that Madison will grow up knowing you and knowing how much you loved her. She will not forget her amazing Nana- I promise. So it's okay- you go and be with Jesus and we will see you soon."

I stood there lying to her while every fiber of my being wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.........

"Please, please, please don't go Mommy, please don't leave me. Don't leave us. We need you. I need you and I love you and I don't know how to live my life without you. I can't do this. I need you. Please, please, please don't go."

It's only through the strength God gave me that day that I was able to stand there and say what she needed to hear. It was ONLY because of Him I said the words that I believe she needed to hear.

She was my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, my safe place when things were bad, my protector, my comforter, my precious Mommy.

I miss her as much today as I did 6 years ago- and sometimes even more so.

There are times when I have to stop myself from thinking about her-and literally make myself think of something or someone else because I am fearful that if I do think about her that the grief will overwhelm me. I'm afraid that I will start crying, and never be able to stop.

There are times when I allow myself to cry and remember and I feel the pain of her absence so strongly that I feel that it will overtake me. I think of all the stories I never got to hear her tell, the conversations we never got to have, the holidays we never got to share, all the lessons she never got to teach me, all the laughs and tears we never got to share and I feel so cheated. And my heart breaks a little.

There are times when I start remembering all the amazing things about her and all that was lost when she died. The world was a better place with her in it. And it stinks that the world no longer has her. And it makes me angry. And my heart breaks a little.

There are times when I think that I was robbed of such an amazing mother. I was not prepared or ready at the age of 32 to lose my mother. I wasn't done growing up, I wasn't done needing her, I wasn't done loving her and being loved by her. And my heart breaks a little.

There are times when I watch Maddie dance and I cry because my Mommy never got to see her dance and I know how much she would have absolutely loved it. She never got to truly know the girl that is my amazing and precious daughter. And my heart breaks a little.

There are times when I realize that Maddie has now been alive longer without knowing my mom than she has been alive knowing my mom. She has more memories without her than with her. And although she has memories of my mother and we try hard to tell her stories and all the wonderful things about my mother, she does not truly know the wonderful woman that was her Nana. And I hate, hate, hate that. And my heart breaks a little.

And then when there are times- like today- when I think that my grief will overwhelm me, that the tears will never stop, that thankfully and mercifully my Savior reminds me of His promises in Lamentations 3:22-23 where He says:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust—there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.

And those promises? They comfort me. And I heal a little.

Sacrifice

I have probably read this beautiful and amazing post at least 10 times in the past week. If you haven't, please go read it now. I promise it will touch your heart.

Although I've read it before, God keeps taking me back to it time and time again. Each and every time I read it I am so convicted that often when I give of myself, it doesn't truly cost me anything. Although I try to give often to my friends and my family through service and gifts (and honestly love serving others), I am usually not truly sacrificing and true giving usually includes some sort of sacrifice.

I don't know about you, but I sometimes get so caught up in the details and tasks in life and in checking things off of my many, many lists- that I forget to ask God how to truly serve those around me. Instead of asking God- the one who created and knows everything- how to serve others, I decide on my own how to best serve and minister to them. And I'm embarrassed to say that it's usually in an easy and quick way. And it breaks my heart to realize that I probably miss the mark most of the time and haven't been giving people what they truly need and what God would tell me they need- if only I took the time to ask.

The eloquently written words of Angie's post have been running through my head during the past few days of painting. The words have encouraged me over and over again to begin to daily ask God what He would have me give, whom He would have me give it to, and then to give me the strength to give it. I have to tell you, it excites and terrifies me all at the same time.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

My Daddy

I mention so often my precious mother who I miss more than words can say, but I am also blessed to have the sweetest father. Ever.

The best thing about my sweet Daddy is that he CHOSE to be my Daddy.

My biological dad and my mother divorced when I was just a baby. My mom remarried when I was about 3 or 4 (my parents’ wedding is one of my first memories and I still have the dress I wore) and I immediately fell in love with him.

When I was about 5 he adopted my sister and I- although he had already been my Daddy in my heart for a long time.

He's a strong, tough, hard working, outdoors loving, hunter, Mr. Fix It, man of few words,
laid back man.

While we were growing up, he owned his own auto repair business and worked long and hard to make it a huge success.

As tough as he is- he has always been tender and sweet with his girls. When we were little he would let us play with his hair and put makeup on him. He even let us paint his fingernails. This tradition has continued with Maddie.

My mother worked in downtown Houston and went to work early each morning so that she could be done by the time we got home from school.

So, my sweet Daddy is the one who always got us up and dressed, fixed us breakfast, and did our hair. He quickly became a master at ponytails and braids.

I so vividly remember sitting and watching Speed Racer and the Three Stooges each morning and eating my breakfast while he did my hair.

He always made me feel special and precious. He even sent me flowers at school on my birthday
and it made me feel like a princess!

My mom was always the disciplinarian while my dad was the laid back one. Growing up he almost never got angry- I can only think of two times in my whole life that he was really
mad at and scolded me. Both of which I very much deserved.

One summer when I was working for him at his shop- answering phones and paying bills,
I had a little accident with our boat.

It's a long story that I won't go into- but basically I backed into our ski boat that was behind the shop. Upon hitting it, the boat then proceeded to roll into a customer’s car. I was devastated when I stepped out of the car to see what had happened and I immediately burst into tears.

As soon as it happened, one of his employees ran to get my dad.

He ran outside and said Are you okay?

When I assured him, through my tears that I was he then burst out laughing.

I had a huge dent in my car and could not stop crying. I just kept saying ............Please don't tell Mom, please don't tell Mom.

He laughed, gave me a hug and promised me he wouldn't tell her.

Now why I didn't think she would notice the huge dent in my car I do not know but for some silly reason I didn't want him to tell her.

So guess what?
He didn't.

Several months later as my mom and I returned from shopping one day and pulled into the driveway she said to me......... How long do I need to go before I mention that big dent in your car?

I laughed and asked if Daddy had told her and she said No.

She said she had asked him but he told her he had promised me not to tell - so he didn't. That's the kind of Daddy he is.

He has always been such a fun dad. Even though he worked long and hard he always made time to take us on exciting adventures.

On countless weekends in high school he took us water skiing along with many of our friends. He loved hanging out with us and our friends have always absolutely adored him.

On my wedding day to Maddie’s dad after spending an obscene amount of money for the wedding (and grumbling quite a bit about it) I'll never forget his words to me as he was about to walk me down the aisle.

All of my bridesmaids had walked down the aisle and it was just the two of us standing in front of the doors to the sanctuary. He took a deep breath, turned to me and said........ It's not too late. If you want to leave, we can.

Those words were precious to me because they showed that my happiness was of the utmost importance to him. More important than any amount of money. More important than any amount of embarrassment. More important than anything.

Even though he is a man of few words I've always known he loved us tremendously.

This fact was never more evident as when my mom got sick and he began to take care of her. She was the one who took care of all of us so it was quite an adjustment for him but he rose to the challenge.

He went from doing no housework or cooking to doing it all on top of taking care of my very ill mother. She told me shortly before she died that she always knew he loved her but that she had never felt more loved than she did when she got sick and he took care of her.

Seeing the loving way he took care of her caused me to love him even more- which I didn't think was possible.

He's the most amazing grandfather in the world and truly spoils Maddie terribly. I think he feels that he has to spoil her for both my mom and him- and he does.

I am so very blessed to have such a precious Daddy.

Things I've Learned This Week

-12 year old girls think that all mom's wear their pants too high (there was a big discussion about this at Maddie's slumber party)

-The laughter of little girls (even in the middle of the night) is a joy to hear!

-Perfectionists should NOT paint. It's impossible for it to be perfect and as a result they will become VERY frustrated.

-12 year old girls LOVE to text message and when you put 7 of them together each with their own cell phone, it will become a texting frenzy.

-Honey likes the wii as much (or more) as Maddie. He even played it by himself while we were out of town on Wed. night.

-Doing something tedious like painting, is lots more fun with a friend.

-I have the sweetest friends EVER and am so very blessed.

-Life is short and we should treasure every single day with those we love.

Andes Mint Cookies

I made these cookies for an event at church Sunday night and they were a big hit. As an added bonus, they smell heavenly while they are baking! My sweet sister loves Andes mints so I think I'm going to have to make her a batch of these to thank her for working on my cranky laptop.

1 1/2 cups mint chocolate chips
1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 1/4 cups flour
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 t baking soda
1/2 t vanilla
1/2 t salt
1 large egg
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup nuts, chopped (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Melt over 3/4 cup of the mint-chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl and stir until smooth. Cool to room temperature. In a small bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt; set aside. In a large bowl, combine butter, brown sugar, sugar, and vanilla extract; beat until creamy. Add melted chips and egg; beat well. Gradually blend in the flour mixture. Stir in remaining 3/4 cup of mint-chocolate chips and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake at 375 degrees for 8-10 minutes. Allow to stand 2-3 minutes; remove from cookie sheets. Cool completely on wire racks.

Shift Happens

For this child I prayed

For this child I prayed.......

I Samuel 1:27

At exactly 9:50am 12 years ago today, after hundreds of doctors appointments and shots, thousands (and thousands) of dollars, and millions of prayers, my sweet Madison Blair- the biggest blessing of my life- was born.

It's so hard to believe that my precious little baby has turned into such a sweet and lovely young lady in what seems like just the blink of an eye. The last 12 years have truly flown by.

She's compassionate, funny, kind hearted, silly, quick witted, loving, passionate, smart, talented, messy, creative, loyal, smart, and faithful and I am so blessed to have the joy of being her mother.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl- I love you more than you will ever know!